I Too, Act America.

There’s clearly lots of buzz and thinkpiecery (present company included), because it’s time again for one of the whitest displays of whiteness, that whiteness could bear —The 88th Annual Academy awards. Not to mention we’re in the middle of election season, and folks are trying to out America each other, to apparently quell the allergic reaction the institution of whiteness had to the last 8 years of the current administration. I don't think I would care that the ‪#‎OscarsSoWhite‬ this year, since it happens every year, if Mad Max wasn't sitting on 10 noms. While films like Concussion, Beasts of No Nation, Star Wars, Creed and SOC, were blatantly ignored (as per usual).

I expected films like:

Spotlight (white men uncover scandal, and expose other white men’s sins)

The Big Short (not-that interesting white dudes smugly try to stop other white men from ruining the world)

The Danish Girl (Eddie Redmayne in a dress, aka the white man conquers the final, final frontier, other trans existences be-damned),

The Revenant (white man conquers the west, and bears, and injuns, and my heart —I love Leo, DJM),

The Martian (white man gets conquered by the great unknown and other white people have to save him aka ‘Space I Am In You’)

Bridge of Spies (old white men work to stop the tyranny of other white men with a hero on a reluctant journey during the reign of the greatest generation aka ‘They Want Nostalgia’)

Even though they have 10 open slots and only used 8, I really don’t understand where Mad Max fits in. Frankly, it’s kinda disrespectful for that film to even be in the running. I saw the original Mad Max films, next to Bruce Willis, Mel Gibson was my favorite action star of the 90s ( they were badass, and MG wasn’t ‘out’ yet as a nutcase). Because of this lingering nostalgia I watched the new one. I like the franchise, but I've seen this movie before. There is nothing fiercely new about it. It was Charlize Theron rolling her eyes alot and Tom Hardy grunting. It was also slightly ahistorical in that it depicted the goons as idiots with all sorts of allusions to 'Viking' culture. That world is a dystopian future, where a white male director got to play out his end-of-the-world fantasies (like when Michael Bay —who is quite possibly a psychopath— is diddling himself while watching the dailies).

There were also virtually no people of color.

According to the pool of nominees, yet again, whether past, present or future, we apparently don't get to exist. Not IRL, not in fantasy, not anywhere that isn't struggle pornography. Word to the wise for POCs: slumdog your millionaires and learn how to be only in roles that make the academy comfortable, if you want the awards.

So, yeah, I think we all expected the Oscars to be whiter than John Mayer’s sexual preferences for #SameOlSameOl2016. However I think this trend (read: state of perpetual existence) could give us some clues into "Respectability." Actors are professionals, right? Most of them anyway. The particular actors who were snubbed this year and in years past, are the best of the best. They are well regarded in the acting community, they work on projects that are of the same caliber as their white counterparts. And yet the Oscars with his black lady president, doesn't care to notice them.

There are folks who want us to focus on ‘real problems,’ some of those folks I actually respect as people, so any snark is not directed towards them, but the rest of the “What We Need To Do Is” crew, are annoying af. The Oscar's issue is a "real problem." Make no mistake the invisibility of fictional black people, women and non-black people of color is directly linked to the invisibility of black people in Flint, in Detroit, and the hyper visibility of black folks in Chicago and St. Louis. As well as the other scenarios that carry out in the nation and the world. This isn't about rich people whining, or black people wanting quotas. This system and its agents do not care about our existence. To poison our bodies or to attempt to erase our art, is a function of the same evil, and all works together for the same effects.

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#‎OscarsSoWhite‬ because that's how America sees itself and it will kill us to prove it. Since not that many of us can fully assimilate, this system been trying to bury us since the moment we were not legal chattel anymore.

On a scale from 1 to police brutality, if I had to make a choice about diversity in Oscar noms, I'd rather than Freddy Grey was still alive. Or that the people in Flint weren’t being actively poisoned by their Governor and city officials  But I think that people should remember that it really doesn't matter what we do in this system. We can be ignored, shut out, made invisible because we're not a "culture fit." Once we are ignored, shut out, or invisible, the atrocities can begin.

Even though it was founded on "Birth of a Nation," Hollywood is supposed to be liberal. It certainly believes itself to be and yet artists of color, professionals, who show up and do equal work to their counterparts don't get their due. We as a community learned to not expect anything from this institution. But it should be noted, these folks are worthy of the respect of their peers and we see what happens to them. So do folks really think that pulling up pants, wearing suits or ending twerking —which is a cultural right by the way— is going to stop us from being killed in the streets, pulled out of our cars on routine traffic stops, choked on corners that have been our open air office for years?

Respectability doesn't work.

Ask Dr. King, if you need more convincing.

Folks can't even see PRETEND black people, you think they care about us IRL?

Either its justice for everyone or not at all.

" I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.

They send me to eat in the kitchen

When company comes,"

-Langston Hughes

*Full disclosure: I like to watch Michael Bay blow things up, I liked Mad Max, and am exceedingly proud of the Oscars given to POC regardless of role. But make no mistake we are still fighting to be seen as fully human.

The Gospel of Waiting.

I have been going back and forth to find the words to say why this is problematic. I keep hoping that the original post is just MTO lying, as they often do. The image was a repost to Vicki Yohe —a prominent christian singer's —page, she mentioned that she was honored to sing at the wedding, so I'm guessing its true. In the comments people are towing the party line, to say "its her choice." Speaking from experience, in some ways this is true. In so many ways it is not, despite what she and others may think.

Growing up, I got the gospel-of-waiting from two perspectives. 

One perspective was about empowering my own choices. I cannot tell you how valuable this was for me. This gave me the understanding that my body is my own, and that giving my body away to just anyone was not healthy –not physically (see: STDs), not emotionally, not spiritually. Made sense to me then, it makes sense to me now. Because, well, agency.

The other perspective was that I, as a woman, needed to maintain absolute purity in order to find a happy and full life. That any compromising of this could forever alter my destiny. Let me assure you that this hyperbolic viewing of the message, wasn't my childhood imagination running wild, I have literally had it said to me in that way. My childhood imagination did liken this potential occurance to when in BTTF, Lorraine accidentally fell in love with Marty (lol). I was left to believe the results weren't pretty. In service to this, I made choices, altered myself in ways from which I am still recovering. Because, well, who DOESN'T want the key to a happy healthy life?

Paul said "its better to marry than to burn," Paul also thought the world was ending. Neither was completely accurate. To tie a woman's value into the amount of penises she may or may not have entertained, is, so incredibly backwards. This barbaric approach is woven into every thought we have about women globally. We cannot choose to ignore the damage done to women (and men) by setting up this false framework.

We all know women, and sometimes have been that woman who believes that being assaulted was their fault. The woman/hymen value matrix doesn't have an equation for which assault is NOT somehow the fault of the victim. And thus, there is no power within. Not for women. If a woman cannot choose to have sex, and can also not choose to not be forced into sex then who owns her body? The answer people offer is that god owns it. Well then why does god conveniently look like a woman's dad or potential/hypothetical/existing husband?

The ability to form healthy, mutually beneficial partnerships is severely impaired by this lack of balance. If the power is imbalanced in one direction how can we expect the unit to be successful?

All in all, it was this young woman's choice, to whatever degree. I dont know her, but I would question how much of her life is truly her own, based on what I experienced coming from that same school of thought. That said, she has a right to remain a virgin and save herself for her husband. She has a right not to (and to feel no shame). I cannot, in good conscience, judge her for either. That would go against my principals. I must impress however, that the idea that she belongs to her father, and then ownership of her agency is transferred over to her husband, is unhealthy and it is wrong. It divorces her and any other woman from their agency. From their right to determine their own walk. 
 
It may be subtle, it may seem harmless, but having gone from living for other people to living for myself, I can say that there is liberty. Declaring my independence was the best thing I could have ever done. I am fully in possession of myself, my goal is to remain so. I know god walks with me, talks with me, and I trust the communion I have had with god since I was small.

From that vantage, I have had to forego the spreading of the purity gospel. I will always encourage anyone with a body to be safe, to make choices that are healthiest for them, and to remind them that they own themselves. Whenever possible any decisions they make should be their own, and that what they choose to do, is between them and god.

There is no shame in choice.

There should only be shame in the actions of those who would seek to take away choice.

How I Feel About Hil

I am politically apathetic. 

I make no apologies for this. 

I vote simply because somebody marched, bled and died to gain and protect my right to vote as a black woman. That's all. I was here for the Obama campaign. Popped my voter cherry on a straight democratic ticket when he got elected. Cool. I am not democrat, but I tend to vote the same way I assign loyalty in the Superbowl or playoffs —I side with the winners. Except when they are traditional-value-wielding-make-america-great-again nutjobs. Nope. Never going. My raging case of intersectionality isn't going to allow for that. Liberals don't impress me, but if I have to pick between the big weevil or the little weevil, I'm going to hedge bets and pick the lesser of two weevils (clearly I like puns too, heard that one this week from a friend, it was fun-nay —but let me return to the meandering point).

Here's how this apathetic feels about Hillary Clinton​: Y'all better step back and let that woman be great.

She may or may not be (read: is) showing signs of corporate puppetry. Her donor list looks like the sign up sheet at a Koch Brothers Anonymous meeting.  While her frienemy Uncle Bernie, who is 2 days from a "Weekend At," reboot, has all the feel good granola donors a true advocate of change would want. Awesome. *shrug* 

But politics is a long game.

Ted Kennedy did all the dirty things he could do in the prohibition era to make sure his shiny sons could have bids for office in the Rat Pack era. George Bush (poppa) went into office to start like 60 wars. He did all the things a Friend of Regan would do to the coloreds, women and the poor, so a Bush could rise out of the bowels of the hole Tom Hardy as Bane came from —or as the locals call it, Texas— to become one of the first Kanye rants. He did that. Not for us. But for the legacy of his loins or whatever. 

Hillary Clinton went from regularly being under a president who she was married to (pun intended or not, you choose) to being a serious viable female candidate for president, twice.

She did that.

If this is chess, not checkers (Hi, Dad), then she managed to be the ultimate underdog rising. No less than Obama coming from the middle of nowhere to be "I know... I won both of them" guy. No less than JFK being the first Irish president in a time when people were afraid of political papacy (kind of like people's irrational fear of 'sharia law'). No less than Bush Sr. shaking enough hands, wagging enough dicks, and making enough money to allow his son to be a folksy, don't-mess-with-Texan, who Rick Perry seemed to be stanning for so hard. No less than Dick Cheney, who wanted to be president as bad as Ice-T wanted to shoot Nino Brown, but was too much of a Cyrus to Fitz's Fitziness. He still managed to be VP despite Gil Scot Heron warning us about him ages ago (see: B-Movie).

Hillary is a shark in the water. In our political climate, that's not a bad thing to be. I would personally be down for one more Obama term, but Roosevelt's wisdom is a double edge sword. *long blink* I would be down with a Michelle Obama term, just on GP. But that's me writing fan-fiction, at this point in the game. Back to Hil.

My value system doesn't think it's okay that she is backed by corporate megalomaniacs. But that is the game. She could be a man of the people and get the little dollars or she can use that Clinton Legacy that she worked for and make that money honey. She can't win an election being the only person with a vagina and no balls. Sorry. Uncle Bernie is the white man everyone loves to love (except BLM, but I'm not even mad at that. *raises fist in solidarity*). People love that he is basically Doc coming in from the year 2015 to bring Marty back to the future with his wild eyed socialist ideas and sass-mouthing of the system. On principal I'm fine with this. But the Raving Right knows all the tricks of old white men, liberal or not. They can and will use their machine to silence that old guy if by some miracle he got the democratic nom. Because they know him. They are him. What they don't understand as their voting and filibuster records prove, is the power of the PU$$...you know the rest. 

The right figured with Obama's campaign runs, that they could edge him out with voter restrictions, their harvest of disenfranchised from the school-to-prison pipeline seeds, and that poorer whites would have the memory of a flea. They hoped that the good white folks would just forget the class war that they are constantly pawns so that the trust fund babies can have new Rich Kids of Instagram posts. I actually like RKOI, for reasons I can't quite identify. DJM. But there were lots of things the Right didn't count on in those elections, and alas, faced with no other options the white vote was galvanized and people of color showed up so the Jose Conservos lost. They don't understand how lady parts work, and they won't be able to shut her down. She's lived in that town long enough to know exactly what to do. If we put Bernie up against them, he will not win. We need someone to remain a buffer for us. They could run together, that might be cool, but Bernie shouldn't get the nom. Let Hillary usher us into a new(ish) era. 

Aside from her marketing team's crack cultural commentary in my inbox in between donation requests (she called me 'Friend,' I might have to invite her to the next BBQ), I'd say she's impressive, but not really what I'm looking for. If I had to pick a candidate I'd want a bleeding-heart-benevolent-I-don't-see-color progressive who'll sing freedom songs and kiss negro babies in the inner city while dancing off beat to "HELL YOU TALMBOUT" like the next man. But what we have is a politically seasoned, former Secretary of State. She has served in Washington and worked her way from First Lady, to Senator and beyond, is a graduate of Yale and Wellesley, with enough chutzpah to roll her eyes in a congressional hearing and live to tell. She is a giver of no dambs, and will do a fine job in an office ruled by the very people she has been able to persuade to hand her millions of dollars for a job interview. 

If we had to bet on a horse, she'd be Secretariat. 

*women are not horses or chattel, but I had to end my story somewhere, and I didn't have a Gandalf in my pocket to make that happen.